


you & me

by glendowers



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Codependency, M/M, Need, couldn't help myself, had to write something emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:28:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glendowers/pseuds/glendowers
Summary: a (very) short snippet about how mickey needs ian





	you & me

The absolute worst thing about Ian Gallagher, in Mickey’s opinion, was just how much he made Mickey need him.

The uncomfortable itch of dependency didn’t bore well with Mickey, it fit like a jacket too short at the sleeves and constantly had his teeth on edge. This feeling was born of years of independence- he had never once needed his Father and his willing fists, nor his Mother who died before he could learn to really love her. He loved his siblings, yes, but the love wasn’t one of necessity but rather well-worn affection from years of being used to their presence. He liked getting drunk, as much as he liked the feel of a joint around his lips- but he didn’t need those either. They were just simple pleasures.

But he _needed_ Ian. Needed the freedom being with Ian meant and absolutely _craved_ the other boy’s love. Whether this was something special about Ian or rather a feeling missing from his childhood, Mickey didn’t know. It could have been either. It was most likely both. But the need was all the same, and it scared Mickey to death.

Because the thing about placing such a high degree of dependence on something outside of yourself meant forgoing any notions of security.

They had gotten into a fight about it, once.

“What’s your deal, Mick?” Ian had asked, the classic Ian steel-jaw in place. No matter his anger, Mickey longed to place his lips against it.

But Mickey said, instead, desperate to make him understand, “I fucking _need_ you, Ian.”

“I need you too. You know that.”

“No, you don’t _get_ it,” Mickey said, frustrated at both Ian for being so oblivious and himself for being unable to voice what was going on in his head, “I’ve never needed anyone in my life. _Never,_ Gallagher. Is this getting through your thick skull?”

“Aren’t we past this? You being scared of me?”

 _No, and we never will be,_ he wanted to say.

Instead: “I’m not _afraid._ ” A knee-jerk reaction, a defense mechanism, one of the only things he had to protect himself with against the force of _Ian Gallagher._

“Then what is it, huh?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Forget I said anything, alright?”

They had moved on. There was Ian siddling up against him, words of reassurance pressed against Mickey’s neck. _I’m not going anywhere. This is it for me._

And, stupidly, Mickey believed him.

He believed him all the way up until Ian made sure it was clear he didn’t need Mickey. That day, Ian on sitting languidly on the porch, had tore him to pieces with just words.

 _I need you,_  he thought. _You lied to me. You promised me._

But Mickey couldn’t save them. When Sammi came at him with a gun, he almost wanted her to make him bleed. If only then he could be free of needing anything ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> once again, here we are. something sad. sorry its not even 500 words, i haven't written in a VERY long time. i'm rusty. this is the best i can do right now but hopefully (fingers crossed) i can get something out over 1k soon. who knows. anyways: cheers!!!!! hope u like


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